But there is a reason for everything. There is a time to every purpose under heaven. So, though I doubt myself as much as ever, and that self-doubt mingles with disappointment in the people I trusted, I cannot doubt the Creator of my path. I know this decision seems huge now, because it is changing the course of my career. However, in the future, I hope it will seem relatively small and insignificant.
Certain character lessons emerge in my little pan of gold, which is what really matters.
1. I may go back on my word once, but it is ill-advised to do so twice. Sticking with a commitment is going to help me catch up on that sleep I've been losing at night.
2. I must learn meaningful ways of telling people how much they mean to me, before it's too late. I don't know if it might already be too late, but I want to learn.
3. Do not expect to be affirmed by the people you lead for your great leadership qualities. Leadership is lonely when you haven't gotten a network of comrades -- if you intend to persist in leadership, find those comrades. Later on you will find out how much your leadership is appreciated, but not in time to feel like your role matters enough to motivate you to persevere.
4. Perspective, perspective, perspective. What you longed for once may arrive, and then you might complain about it until you've drowned out the echo of the praises you used to sing for the thing. Facing the future, choose to emphasize the advantages of a new situation, while never failing to be honest if it's time to move on to the next thing.
I know I broke the rules of grammar here by using the "you" pronoun. I guess it's only because I'm really talking to myself!
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In other news, my cat is stinky.