Friday, September 17, 2010

Why I Stay in Plano

Ru-weezy comma Michaellini.
Jobs.
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton,
who followed me from Baltimore
and now lives across the street from me.
(Sonic. Burger Street. Cafe Brazil.)
Streets at 90-degree angles to one another.
Starbucks ... which changed my life here.

Promise of things yet to come.
Southern hospitality.
A little bit of funk, a little bit of rock'n'roll.
(Less exposure to country than I had in MD, actually.)
Independence.
Belief...that this is where I'm supposed to be...now.
People....
Like the best roommates a girl could ask for.
Bluebonnet Trail.
Food on the table (employment opportunities).
Hot sun. Less SADness.
The occasional, unforgettable experience of authentic Mexican food.
Tamales...
Tortillas...
Chorizo...
Mmm.
Crape myrtles.
My very first very own car.
Most of all, little pieces of my heart got broken all around this town, and when I leave, they'll stay here without me.
Not sure I'm ready for that hurt, just yet.
This is where I grew up.
I sat on a wall.
I had a great fall.
Somehow, the King's men put me together again. 


*On this 16th of September, the 4 year anniversary of my arrival in Texas, I want to say thank you to the Ruiz family, the Resslers, my family at Starbucks Custer and Parker (esp. my 'big brother' boss and my courageous friend Sam), and the Seton community for taking me in at my messiest and most stubborn and helping me to become more accepting, more loving, less proud, more healed, hopeful, cared for, and on and on. I will always cherish this passage in my life. Now, Texas takes second place as the state I have lived in the longest! (Maryland has it beat twice over, still.) Also, it bears mentioning that I would not be here any more if not for the support of 1) Michael Ruiz, who has loved and accepted me for what I am, inside and out .. no matter what that has meant in the past 4 years. I am a better version of myself for his influence on my life. Words cannot express... 2) My family, who loves me unconditionally even when I leave them! Yet I always know that I can go running home and they will open arms and make a bed for me. Their presence with me wherever I go makes it possible for me to feel at home in a strange place. A family of legends! I hope everyone can experience such a family in their lifetime, by creating one or having been born of one.

6 comments:

Dana said...

this is a good list!

cjamdj531 said...

This is good Sydney. I needed to read this as much as anyone (forever wanting you to just *come home already* :) I can relate to the feeling of a "state of self in given state" assessment - quality stuff! Your creative list is yet another expression of this better version of yourself - whom I love very dearly.

Bethany Blanchard Coleman said...

we have a crepe myrtle right outside our bedroom window! glorious. and, were it not for grandparents and grad school, i'd probably be in texas right now too. <3

Michael said...

i love you bebe! you are godsent.

Kimi said...

Adorbsable. Robbe just toured in TX (crap, I wish you could have gone!) and sent me a bunch of TX postcards. Do you watch Friday Night Lights? (is that question so cliche)

Sydney McFearless said...

No! I don't watch Friday Night Lights! But I am open to new things, so bring it. Umm also I think as musician girlfriends we need to start a club thingamajiggerbob.